Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

If you could go back and rewrite the Legend of Korra, what would you change, and why?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have complete contempt for fakery

Would you date a Muslim guy? Why/why not?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Are female judges more lenient than male ones?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

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I can read

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

How did you get to be a leftist?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I understand how hurricane paths work

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

How do I seduce my sister? (I am an Indian) I want to have sex with her.?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t cotton to rapists

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

How do the Sola Scrptura folks react to the Dead Sea Scrolls and other more recent discoveries of ancient Biblical texts not among those canonized by Martin Luther?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

What should I do if I love a girl and she apparently doesn't love me?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Why do people hate fat people so much, even people who aren't exactly supermodels themselves? It seems like such a deep, passionate hatred, like they're offended by fat people just existing. Fat people didn't do anything to them, so why hate them?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

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I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t buy bullshit

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Is it possible for humans to determine their past life as an animal? Is there a scientific method to prove this?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

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I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I can count

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Is there a type of function where every point has exactly one tangent line passing through it? If yes, what is this type of function called?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I actually pay taxes

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I see through liars